vibrator trouble

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Before you get any ideas, let me make this clear. This post will not be about the vibrator you’re thinking of, but of another kind that similarly shakes, quivers and throbs when activated. Something for everyday use that you might even be holding and caressing in your hands at this instant!

I was in church (yes, of all places again) last Saturday evening attending the anticipated Sunday mass with my family. As has been my habit when going there, I muted my mobile phone’s ringer as I entered, and turned the vibrator function on. I didn’t turn it off as I was waiting for an incoming text message from a friend who had recently arrived from the
States. In addition, I didn’t want to make a fool of myself by having a ringing mobile phone in the middle of the mass like the lady I blogged about a several weeks back. I immediately shoved the gadget into my front jeans pocket and though nothing of it after that. Little did I know that I would be having another church mishap (why do these things keep happening to me?).

We were in the middle of the Ama Namin when it happened. There I was, standing up together with the rest of the congregation singing the Our Father with arms raised when my phone vibrated and I felt a sudden sensation in my nether region! It was so sudden and strong that the throbbing jolted me, causing me to instantly twitch involuntarily. Who wouldn’t? My phone must have slid next to the family jewels in my semi-tight jeans because I felt the strange (hmmm, only in church) sensation in the most sensitive part of my genitalia. Ha ha ha! Needless to say, people seated nearby noticed what I went through and this left me red-faced in embarrassment, though I doubt if they know the real cause of my sudden twitch as I gave them no clue. They must have thought I suffered from a mild case of epilepsy or something. Carefully, I moved the gadget away from my jewels in case it rang again. Whew! It was a good thing the vibrating alert was only a short one for a text message. What if my friend decided to call instead, I thought. Then God knows what could have happened!

Moral of the story: never ever use a vibrator in church!