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Do you remember Melanie Marquez and her famous (infamous?) quotable quotes? She used to hug the limelight in pinoy showbiz with every opportunity and would gladly give interviews to anyone who dared, dishing out melanisms. What are melanisms, you may ask. For the uninitiated, these are grammatical misadventures of the former Miss International, ranging from common phrases and expressions to complete sentences, that would either give its listener (or reader) a terrible bellyache from laughter , or a severe migraine.

Someone must have tediously written them down because I found the following list in my inbox two days ago and couldn’t stop laughing! I’ve heard some of these from her in some of her many television interviews but frankly, I doubt if some of the other melanisms are genuine. You be the judge.

"I coudn't care a damn!"

"What's your next class before this?"

"Can you repeat that for the 2nd time around once more?"

"Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?"

"Don't touch me not!"

"You! you're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!"

"Hello? For a while. Please hang yourself."

"Why should I have a calling card? I'm not a call girl!"

"That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other people's lives."

"Don't judge my brother; he's not a book."

"I won't stoop down to my level."

"Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?"

"Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan."

"Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo! Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril."

"We are lovers, not fighters."

"Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same."

"I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival."

"Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat." (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)

"Sumasakit ang migraine ko."

"Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!"

"Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point." (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right .).

"Oo nga", said Melanie,"pero I-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!".

"Dont worry little angel, big angel is here".

"He should be put behind bar". You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four".

"Nikki, you're so galing. You should go to the states. You will sell hotcakes".

"They should talk behind the scene... (on Kris and Joey)

"Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko... sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae... talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo... PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh."

Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na?
Melanie: Ah okay lang 'yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.

"A man's success is a woman's behind."

"My husband was born on a silver spoon"

Ate Luds: Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?
Melanie: Alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to istep your foot...ah, forward!

"It's not my problem anymore. It's their problem anymore."

Melanie Marquez was accosted by a certain guy from a certain TV network. He shouted, "Hey *****," upon which Melanie turned around and retorted, "Don't you ever, ever call me...hey!"

"I keep my crown in the voltage."

"Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place. "

"Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin (referring to Aleck Bovick) and myself. It's DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara." ( While she was in Morning Girls With Kris and Korina)

"My answers have been prayered." (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz )

"Hello...Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs." (On ex-flame Lito Lapid, in response to being misunderstood)
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