this red pot has been sitting on our kitchen counter for the past fifteen years or so, maybe even a lot more. I know my mom bought this when we were still living abroad but I cannot remember exactly when. but what’s so unusal about this red pot, and others like it, is that it has never been used. I’ve seen it washed a couple of times, maybe because it had been gathering dust in the kitchen, but never used.

my mom has a lot of things kept around the house that have rarely been used and are therefore practically brand new, or have never been used at all. aside from pots of different sizes and design, there are plates, glasses and other tableware. carefully tucked away in her closets are brand new towels and assorted bed linen. my grandmother was like this too. growing up I remember seeing glass enclosed shelves stacked with assorted dinnerware around the dining room of her old house in batangas, and bauls (antique chests) filled with sheets, blankets and pillowcases smelling of naphthalene. I remember asking my lola (grandmother) on several
occasions why she didn’t use the plates, and how come she made do with old pillowcases when there are new ones hidden in her baul. she would smile and say, “they’re for guests.” that was the same answer I always got from my mom when confronted with a similar query by this inquisitive brat. and, as if reading my mind, she would often add, “that’s filipino hospitality”, before I could even open my mouth.

growing up I could not fully understand the meaning of hospitality at first. questions lingered in my head. is hospitality about bragging, flaunting one’s possessions to other people coming over to visit? why do they have to use better, newer, more beautiful things, I thought. but as I grew older I started to get it, watching my grandmother and my mom, as well as the other adults in the family, as they entertained visitors, friends and even strangers. hospitality is not about showing off. it is the process of making guests feel welcome. and more than the plates, glasses and towels, it is the caring that we share through this process. that is what sets filipino hospitality apart from the rest. some of us may have meager means but that is immaterial compared to the warmth of our hospitality.

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